Choosing the Best Game for each 'Retro' System I Own

This is the second part of a four part mini-series where I'm answering a question I wasn't actually asked...

For each of my 26 home consoles and computers, and 10 handhelds, which is my favourite game?

I’ve decided to break this down into 4 sections as, even with just a brief paragraph for each, 36 is a lot of games to read about in one hit.

Those sections will be as follows:

Vintage - Consoles and computers launched in the 70’s and 80’s. 

Retro - Hardware released in the 90’s. 

Handhelds - Any primarily portable console with its own, built in screen. No age restriction.

Modern - Machines that came out in the 21st century.

I’ll be listing in chronological order of system release, indicated by the date in brackets.

I did Vintage last time out so today we have the 'Retro' selection...

Sega Mega Drive (1988) - Gunstar Heroes

Well that’s embarrassing! I’m absolutely stunned that the Mega Drive was launched originally in the late eighties and, by my own vague definition, should have appeared on the Vintage list. In my defence, it would be insanity to separate Sega’s 16 bit machine from it’s big Nintendo rival, and since The SNES didn’t launch until late 1990, in these paragraphs at least, the grudge match can continue! Without ever consciously making the decision, I've noticed that I tend to baulk at paying more than about £45 for a videogame. I don't know why this number or when it started (I often paid £60+ for SNES games in the 90s) but it's definitely a personal ceiling that's crept into my buying habits over the years. Luckily, in PAL regions there is a compilation cartridge for the Mega Drive called the 'Classic Collection' that is regularly available for about thirty quid boxed.
This compilation includes Alex Kid in the Enchanted Castle, Flicky, Altered Beast, and - the best game I own for the system - Gunstar Heroes. There's little new I can add to the mountain of praise lavished upon this action platforming masterpiece from the geniuses at Treasure, suffice to say that everything positive that you've heard is definitely true, and anything negative you've heard is undoubtedly false.

SNES (1990) - Flashback

There's been a few times during the compilation of these blog entries when I've had to check my collection, or wrack my brain, to think of what the best game might be for a particular system - this was fundamentally not the case with Flashback.
This is a game I used to play endlessly; I would check the clock and if I had a forty five minute window until dinner, or until someone was visiting, or I was going out... I would drop in Flashback and play it from start to finish, embracing the presentation and trying to make it look as much like a movie as possible as I made my way through it's story. Every step was taken to look stylish, every jump timed to maximise dramatic effect and, obviously, no damage was ever incurred.
I played Flashback like a YouTube superstar before YouTube, or basically the internet as we now know it, even existed.

Sega Mega CD (1991) - Battlecorps

As this console is the newest addition to my collection (about two weeks old at time of writing) I've not had the opportunity to play anything beyond the seven games that came bundled from the seller. I've been surprised at how much fun can be had with Road Avenger, and pleased by the removal of the appalling music from Prince of Persia, but the only game to bring me new, unironic, pleasure - and quite a lot of it - has been Battlecorps. This first-person mech shooter from Tomb Raider devs Core Design uses huge amounts of sprite scaling, and if that doesn't excite you then I'm afraid we can't be friends. There's some FMV, high quality music, and plenty of speech to make sure that all of the Mega-CD boxes are ticked - but it's fluid, weighty, explosive gameplay that has ensured this is my most played game on this system so far.

Commodore Amiga 600 (1992) - Cannon Fodder

Not a system I played much back-in-the-day (outside of a few bouts of Lemmings and the horrific, and hilarious, Street Fighter II port) but coming to the Amiga in later life has allowed me to truly appreciate the genius of Cannon Fodder on a system built for this kind of experience. I'm not a PC gamer in any way. I have a PC, and a bulging Steam (and Epic, and Uplay, and Origin, and GoG, and Itch...) account, but if I can't play with a controller then I won't play at all. Which just makes it all the more of an achievement that Cannon Fodder is one of my favourite games, and that this is the best versions of it - although the sheer audacity of the Game Boy Color version must always be respected.
Cannon Fodder is more than a war game, more than a real-time strategy, and more than it's infamous theme song. It's the first game that ever induced an emotional reaction from me at the loss of a character, and the first time I remember a fun video game making a serious point.

Atari Jaguar (1993) - Iron Soldier

The unfortunate and maligned Jaguar may represent (to most) the very definition of slim pickings when it comes to great games, but from the 4 titles I own 3 are absolute must plays, not just for the system, but for any fan of interesting games. Tempest 2000 is the obvious choice, and Aliens vs Predator would be many people's go-to option, but for me it's all about Iron Soldier. The genius of this lovely looking lo-poly mech shooter comes from its use of the Jaguar's idiosyncratic controller. As was the case with so many games on this system, there’s a lot going on. But in Iron Soldier each button maps and corresponds to a weapon mounted to individual parts of the giant robot avatar and, while this is initially a lot to get your head around, it soon becomes second nature and ends up being about the only example of a Jaguar game with a slick, intuitive interface.

Sega Saturn (1994) - Virtua Racing

My Sega Saturn collection is as much subject to the imaginary £45 spend ceiling as any other system so, as you would expect, a lot of the hardware's most infamous games have not made it to my shelves. Nevertheless, I have a collection built from games I love and the top dog of them all is Virtua Racing. I'm a huge fan of the low polygon style in any game, but Virtua Racing fuses it to a game for which I have a lot of nostalgia, a game which still plays beautifully, and one which is compatible with the Saturn's brilliant driving wheel - a peripheral that elevates so many of the machines games from decent to exceptional. The whole experience reeks of the arcades at a time when I would most frequently visit them. Not that Mr Pool or Stanley Thurstons in Bedford ever had anything as exotic as this, but sneaking out of the Victoria and Albert Museum on school trips and making a bee-line for the Trocadero would always end up in the seat of a Virtua Racing cabinet.

Sony PlayStation (1994) - Tomb Raider

Beaten to the store shelves by the Saturn by a mere 2 weeks, this is the machine that saw me move from someone who plays games to someone who also collects them as it was during the lifetime of the PS1 that I realised I often regretted trading in games and resolved to never do it again. As such, it is the oldest console for which I have a sizeable collection; 125 games in total including several of my favourite games of all time. I find it almost impossible to choose between the likes of Bushido Blade, Driver, Silent Bomber, Resident Evil 2, Einhander, and so many others - But then I remember it's where I first played Tomb Raider. In over the 30 or more years I've been playing games, there are very few that I can remember my first experience with.
I do remember seeing Way of the Exploding Fist on a friends Spectrum long before I got one, and I remember being introduced to Double Dragon at a grimy local arcade by my mate Jack, but there are very few of the thousands of games I've played for which I have clear recollection of 'the first time'. But I vividly remember my mate Dave bringing his copy of the Tomb Raider demo to my house where I watched agog as he performed the acrobatic moves and demonstrated the complexities and independence of each action. The moment in the first stage when the music kicks in is one of favourite things in gaming. The T-Rex is a jump scare masterpiece. The puzzle platforming has never been bested, and, my god, is Lara Croft ever the coolest character ever rendered into about seventeen polygons.

Nintendo 64 (1996) - Rocket: Robot on Wheels

If there's any console in history that gets more respect than it deserves, then it is without doubt the N64. A tiny library of mostly terrible games bolstered mainly by those 1st party franchises that I don't like and a multiplayer shooter that has aged with as much grace as a pint of milk in greenhouse. So thank heaven for Rocket: Robot on Wheels, an early example of a 3D open world in which physics based puzzles were to be solved. Developed by Sucker Punch long before the brilliant Sly Cooper series and even longer before the oh-so-7th-gen Infamous games, Rocket is nonetheless one of more slept on games for the N64.

PC - The Reap (1997)

Just to be clear - I fundamentally disagree with the popular assertion that digital games are somehow not to be considered part of one's collection. Yes, they should be counted differently, or separately, or... something... but to suggest that games like Ape Out, Shadow Complex, Proteus, and the vast swathes of other digital-only releases are somehow 'lesser' than a boxed game - potentially even one of poorer quality - is utter nonsense. However, in order to facilitate easier selection from my nearly 500 PC games, I'm going to limit myself only to the games I have discs of; totalling 11. Furthermore, at least half of those are racing game hand-me-downs that I've yet to try, so I'm left with a mere handful to choose from - luckily one of those is The Reap - a very PC style horizontal/isometric shmup. I first played this as part of my game-a-day blog that I used to keep myself sane while furloughed during lockdown v1. so, to quote myself:
"The Reap offers what are described as '3D modelled worlds and rendered graphics' that give an astonishing sense of depth and detail embellished by a liberal helping of, [in 1997], state of the art effects. The manual states that you play the role of a mercenary, clearing planet Earth of human life before they can discover that their whole existence is that of universal lab rats. No one plays a shmup for the plot, but there's no denying that's a pretty cool twist on the usual genre tropes."

Sega Dreamcast (1999) - Jet Set Radio

My god, where to start?! The arcade joy of Crazy Taxi, the stunning (to this day) visuals of Soul Calibur, the multiplayer madness of Power Stone 2, the unparalleled melancholic atmosphere of Shenmue, the hardcore heaven of Bangai-O, or the infectiously upbeat Space Channel 5... No... for me it's all about Beat, Gum, Professor K, and the rest. 

Say it with me: Jet Set Radioooooooo! 

I don't think there has ever been an experience that 'felt' more counter-culture in games history. From the eclectic soundtrack to the cell shaded graphics, the graffiti gameplay to the 'stick it to the man' storyline, everything about JSR is just slightly skewed outside the norm. In a good flow there's no better feeling than skating around Tokyo-to, tagging, grinding, and traversing while evading the ever so slightly overzealous police and listening to the incredible tunes (unless you were in the USA and had to tolerate Rob Zombie). One of my top five games on any system, there are undoubted moments of jank - but it just means you have to get better at it to appreciate the true brilliance of this game when at it's fluid best.

Choosing the Best Game for each 'Vintage' System I Own.

A couple of weeks ago, in an act of sheer vanity, I posted some pictures of my attic games room to Reddit.

As usual I got some lovely responses and exclamations of envy, which, let's be honest, was exactly what I was going for.

People also asked a number of questions, and the one pertinent to this introduction was: "What is your favourite game from all these systems?" and then the author went on to state their love for Missile Command on the 2600 - Fine taste indeed.

However, when I first read the question, without my glasses and before my first cup of tea of the day, I thought it asked "What is your favourite game for each of these systems?" which is a subtle difference in terms of question, but a massive one in terms of the answer.

And it’s that second, imagined, question that I'm using this blog to respond to:

For each of my 26 home consoles and computers, and 10 handhelds, which is my favourite game?

I’ve decided to break this down into 4 sections as, even with just a brief paragraph for each, 36 is a lot of games to read about in one hit.

Those sections will be as follows:

Vintage - Consoles and computers launched in the 70’s and 80’s. 

Retro - Hardware released in the 90’s. 

Handhelds - Any primarily portable console with its own, built in screen. No age restriction.

Modern - Machines that came out in the 21st century.

I’ll be listing in chronological order of system release, indicated by the date in brackets.

So let’s get started with the golden oldies...

Atari 2600 (1977)  - H.E.R.O.

You may think it odd, coming from someone who clearly loves vintage and retro games, to hear that I don't think many VERY old games are even worth playing, let alone making it on to any 'best of' list.

For me the games industry (as it were) didn't start to hit its stride until the early to mid eighties . I'm not saying that there weren't great examples prior to this, especially in the arcades, but on home systems I don't think there's much more than novelty value to most games released before that rough line in the sand.

So I guess it's no surprise that my favourite game on the 1977 released 2600 is from 1984. 

H.E.R.O. was ported to many other systems, but the 2600 version is the original and the best. There's a brilliant, simplistic, logic to navigating the game's tunnels on your heli-pack, using dynamite and quick reflexes to rescue trapped explorers.

Even the 2600s limitations make sense in this context; the vast blackness of the screen perfectly representing the cavernous abyss.

Sinclair ZX81 (1981) - 3D Monster Maze

Well, this is awkward. 2nd system in and I'm a bit stumped.

My ZX81 was a freebie that didn't come with the RAM expansion that is required to play any of the games. I'm having a crisis of indecision on whether to mod the system with an internal upgrade or stump up for an original RAM Pack, and in the meantime I'm unable to play anything.

3D Monster Maze came bundled with some other games when I got the machine and is the game I most want to play on my ZX81, so I'm listing that here. I'm fully aware that isn't the point of this but it won't happen again. Promise.

Sinclair ZX Spectrum (1982) - Turbo Esprit

Turns out that 1982 was quite the busy year for hardware releases, with the beautiful ZX Spectrum beating others out of the gate by just a few months.

This is the computer that started it all for me, the love and memories I have for this machine are immeasurable. I spent unquantifiable hours playing Way of the Exploding Fist, Starstrike II, Stunt Car Racer, Batman, Robocop, Chase H.Q., Delta Wing, Chaos, Rebelstar II, and many, many more - but the game I love the most, and the one I return to most often, is unquestionably Turbo Esprit.

A technical marvel that includes 4 'living' 3D cities full of traffic, pedestrians, and criminals to be chased down and rammed off the road, Turbo Esprit is a precursor to Chase H.Q., Die Hard Trilogy, Driver, and - most notably of all - GTA. 

The stunning level of detail and thrill of throwing the car around the game's ninety degree corners at full speed remain to this day, and the option to play the bad guy - by racking up as many Penalty Points as possible before the other bad guys flee the city - essentially makes this two exceptional games in one.

Commodore 64 (1982) - Nebulus

Although it launched in August ‘82, 4 months after the Spectrum, I came to the C64 after having owned and loved a ZX Spectrum for a number of years. 

When I was a youngster I had no real knowledge of the technical pro and cons of these machines, however, I was very aware that the C64s games were more colourful than that of the Spectrum but somehow less detailed, and the music and sound were clearly superior, but I it was also very clear to young me that I just didn't seem to enjoy playing the C64’s games as much as I did those on the Spectrum.. 

The most memorable exception to this rule was Nebulus - a game which not only looked and sounded much better, but was more fun to play.

The main puzzle-platforming elements were largely unchanged, a little faster, and still hugely enjoyable. But it was the addition of bonus levels, where your little froggish character (I want to say it's name was Pogo?) zipped to the next level in a submarine while catching fish for bonus points, that added a brilliant level of variety to an already great game. 

Milton Bradley Vectrex (1982) - Web Warp

Last machine in the ‘82 trio to release; in America the Vectrex was on shelves just in time for Christmas, launching in November of that year.

Whenever I share images of my games collection online, someone will always point out the Vectrex as the star. Genuinely, every time. No exaggeration. 

And that’s lovely, and absolutely not what annoys me. The mildly irritating part is that no-one ever asks or talks about games for the Vectrex.

Obviously it's a fairly rare beast and people are just happy to see one, but games machines are all about the games, and it seems people are far more interested in the Vectrex as a 'thing' than they are in it as a games machine.

But I’m not practising what I preach, so: Web Warp (AKA Web Wars) has a depth of gameplay not that frequently seen on the hardware, at least in the game's original library.

Not only does the game offer an impressive line in pseudo-3D, into the screen, shoot-em-up action, but it adds a layer of strategy as you try and capture various beasts and move them to your ‘trophy room’ at the same time as fending off the baddies.

The game is both a technical marvel and hugely addictive - and you really can't ask for much more than that.

Nintendo Entertainment System (1983) - Solar Jetman

As a kid I knew exactly zero people who owned a games console. At one point, late in it's life, a neighbour had a Master System, but on a wide scale, in my particular corner of the world, everyone had home computers; ZX Spectrums, Amstrads, and the occasional C64. As such, I have no emotional attachment to the NES and my library totals exactly 8 games, the best of which is easily Solar Jetman.

I must pause here and make it clear to you, dear reader, that I don't like Mario games.

Or Donkey Kong.

Or Zelda.

I own every mainstream Nintendo console and handheld and a pretty sizeable collection of games for many of them, but despite a few exceptions, most of the games in these big name franchises just don’t do anything for me. So don’t expect to see them here, or against any other Nintendo console later on.

Anyway, back to Solar Jetman...

Interestingly, I only found out recently that this is the second sequel to JetPac, one of the first games I ever played at any length on my ZX Spectrum. It didn’t start out that way, but when the developer was bought by Rare they made this game, that was well into development, part of that classic series.

Taking a lead from other revered titles like Gravitar and Thrust, Solar Jetman uses the same familiar gravity/inertia gameplay (of which I am a huge fan) with the addition of light multi-direction shooting.

It's ridiculously difficult, a fact that apparently led to the cancelled release of several nearly completed ports, but I have particular love for the characterful graphics, the attention to detail of which puts it a notch above many 8 bit games.

Acorn Electron (1983) - Arcadians

A month after the NES arrived in Japan, the Acorn Electron - more or less a BBC Micro by another name - launched in the UK.

Today it still has a small but passionate fanbase in that territory, but remains virtually unknown elsewhere. 

I can't remember if my Grandparents owned their Electron before my brother got a ZX Spectrum, or if it was the other way around, but this is definitely one of the first two systems I played 'at home'.

On the whole the software available was pretty simple, with an abundance of text adventures and rudimentary platformers, but there was also Arcadians, a Galaxians clone built for the BBC Micro and released 2 years later, in 1984, for the Electron.

Considering the vintage and hardware restrictions it was remarkably adept at bringing the arcade experience to a system designed for home banking and teaching kids to fill a screen with rude words. It was colourful, fast, smooth, and I have the sound of swooping enemies etched in my memory to this day.

Sega Master System (1985) - Enduro Racer

Ah, the Master System, the runt of so many console collection litters. Overburdened with cut down versions of games designed for it's big brother; the Mega Drive, there weren't really a lot of stand out games for this gorgeous looking 8 bit machine.

The arcade port of Enduro Racer stands out for me mostly because it isn't an arcade port at all. Rather it takes the vague idea of the arcade game and recreates it as an isometric racer. So instead of riding into the screen and hoiking back on a life size bike, the Master System version of Enduro Racer has the player represented by a tiny sprite, riding from the bottom left to the top right corner.

It cemented itself as a favourite for me when I discovered the game features a precursor of Crazy Taxi's Crazy Dash.

That may seem an extreme analogy, but when you're playing it really does have that exact rhythm. You press back as you hit a jump to wheelie then forward as you hit the top to keep the speed.

On top of this, the game is further elevated beyond the basic by the developers decision to embrace the distance from the original and actually turn the game into an endurance event, rather than the checkpoint racer from the arcades.

Add in inter-stage upgrades and you have a very addictive game of genuinely surprising depth.

Quick note: I know a lot of people would have chosen Wonder Boy III: The Dragon’s Trap for this machine, and I do own that game, but it is 1 of 544 games in my collection that I just haven’t played it yet - so I have no idea if I agree with the consensus at this point.

NEC PC Engine (1987) - Vigilante

Just recently, thanks to a new job, my collection has grown quite quickly with the addition of three consoles. 

The beautiful, tiny, Japanese PC Engine has been on my wishlist for a while, so when I saw (an only mildly yellowed) one available for a very good price I snapped it up.

The downside of the machine being so new (to me) is that I don't have a large collection to choose from - but as an arcade kid at heart I think that Vigilante would still be up there anyway.

Taking the form of a 'single lane' brawler, Vigilante on the PC Engine is gloriously close to the arcade original, with only a few small details missing.

It may seem simplistic, but the lack of movement on the y axis brings a very different kind of gameplay and screen management to bear, and a different kind of fun and challenge comes along with it.

An A-Z of great retro games for Hallowe'en

For me, the A-Z list; picking a single game in the given category starting with each letter of the alphabet, is the perfect way to ensure a healthy mix of well known and more obscure titles.

There are downsides, obviously. Choosing something for 'Q' that isn't Quake and finding something (Anything!) decent to suggest for the letter 'J' are a persistent challenge, but, when you don't have a readership of millions, constructing these lists is more about the creative side than the delivery, so these awkward letters usually make the process much more fun.

Anyway. I did an A-Z of Games for Halloween a few years back, and there will doubtless be a few duplications, but today I'm giving myself the additional constraint of 'Retro'. The definition of 'Retro' is pretty fluid, but for these purposes I'm saying any game released last century; up to 31st December 1999, is Retro. Make your peace with that now, it ain't changing!

So, with all that preamble out of the way, lets get started!

Wait! One last thing, I don't like RPGs, so don't expect to see 'Vampire The Masquerade' or anything similar below!

Right, now we go...

Avenging Spirit - ARC/GB 1991
In this, fairly cute looking, 1991 arcade platformer you, as the titular spirit, are first murdered and then summoned to save your girlfriend by her (don't say mad) scientist father.
At the start of the game you are given a choice four potential possess-ees to serve as your host - but it is only when that first avatar is killed that the game comes into its own. Emerging from the host as a ghost, and with your 'spirit meter' quickly ticking down, you must immediately jump into a new body.
In the standout feature of the game, you can possess absolutely any other NPC, and take on their weapon and other characteristics as you continue.
Besides the arcade original there was a surprisingly faithful port to the original Game Boy, an emulated version of which is available from the 3DS eShop. 

B-Movie - PS 1998

You'll see, as we get further into this list, that I have a bit a thing for 50's B-movies. Ever since this particular era of film-making, the genres of Sci-Fi and Horror have been inextricably linked and, (something else you'll see reflected in this list) this is still very often the case in video games.
B-Movie, known in the states as Invasion from Beyond, not only embraces the full 'Mars Attacks' ethos, but is also old-school in it's design, with wrap-around levels employed as you search the map for enemies to blast and scientists to rescue. 
It's a simple but hugely entertaining game, with added depth given by unlockable vehicles and a decent variety of mission structures.

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night - PlayStation 1998
Despite its open level designs and progression method coming more than a decade after they were first seen in Metroid, Symphony of Night is the reason why the genre portmanteau has '–vania' stapled to the end of it. Simon’s Quest had toyed with exploration in the series previously, but not as expansively or as successfully as was achieved in this, which is considered a true great of the genre to which it gives (half) it’s name.
Shamefully I've only ever played it (briefly) through emulation - but the impact of that short play, and the opinion of people I trust, is play, and the opinion of people I trust, is more than enough to include it on this list.

Doom - PC 1994
Even with it's 'Hell' motif and legions and monsters, it sometimes easy to forget that, when it was originally released, Doom was a very scary game.
The sound design in particular lent an incredibly eerie atmosphere, and it was far more common to see players creep around corners and twitch at every sound than it was to see the borderline speedrunning pace that it's played at today.
Not just one of the most important games ever made, but one of the best too.

Evil Zone - PS 1999

In the first (but by no means last) trip on this list to Tenuous Town, Evil Zone barely meets the criteria of a game for Halloween. It does have the 'Evil' in the title, and it has an evil being as the boss, with the plot of this simplistic fighter revolving around finding the strongest fighter to face them - but beyond that... erm... as I said: Tenuous.
On the other hand, the average-at-best reception awarded this title means that many thought it to be a horror of a different kind. Personally though, I found the TV Show presentation style endearing and, in an era when fighting games didn't often have stories, this has one for every single character, including the main antagonist.

Fear Effect

More famous today for a thirty-second quasi-sapphic elevator cutscene in it's sequel than any of it's own qualities, the original Fear Effect was a horror themed evolution of the classic point-and-click adventure that used sprites against pre-rendered backgrounds to great effect. There's a more considered approach than usual to Chinese mysticism that elevates proceedings a notch, with a late game trip to the underworld being particularly memorable.
The balance between puzzles and gunplay is well maintained throughout, and the grizzly death animations that play upon failure of a puzzle are a particularly macabre treat.

Grim Fandango

And talking of point-and-click adventures, here's the one that's often described as the greatest of them all (although, admittedly, not by me).
There's not much new one can say about Tim Schafers magnum opus, it's a brilliant, funny, and devilishly difficult tour de force that has been made available on just about every platform on the planet - so there's no excuse for not playing it.

House of the Dead 2

Selecting the sequel was an easy choice of the 2 House of the Dead games that came out in the 20th Century, as it's a marked improvement over the original in many ways.
Most predominantly, the use of branching paths adds diversity and... lets not say 'depth'... but certainly it gives the game a sense of interactivity missing from many other 'ghost-train' style on-rails shooters.
The voice acting is the stuff of legend, but it's the only thing in the game that's of dubious quality; everything else is a fantastic example of the genre.

It Came from the Desert

With inspiration taken broadly from 50's nuclear age sci-fi-horror b-movies and, more directly, the astoundingly effective 1951 giant ant thriller THEM!, It Came From the Desert is one of Cinemaware’s most fully realised interactive movies.
Much to the chagrin of many a late 80's teenager, It Came from the Desert's core gameplay doesn't often involve trying to shoot enormous bugs in first person, but s rather more geared towards using your powers of persuasion to evacuate the wonderfully characterful NPC inhabitants of the small desert town for which the threat posed by oversized insects is most imminent. With this being an interactive movie it's actually impossible to die, but it's still all too possible to fail.
Luckily, as with many games of this type, the real joy comes from replaying and discovering new outcomes to individual situations and indeed the whole game. If you're even a little bit of a classic b-movie fan you need to play this game; as a love letter to the genre it is near flawless. 

Jurassic Park - Amiga/DOS 1993

I don't like it any more than you do, okay, but there are so few games that start with the letter 'J', especially within this definition of 'Retro' that this is the closest I could get.
For large sections this rendering of Jurassic Park suffers from the same flaws as many of the others; uneventful 'fetch quest' style missions in largely empty open world environment. Where the PC/Amiga game differs (and excels), however, is where it almost most fits the 'Halloween' brief. There are sections throughout that take place inside buildings, and these are rendered in the now familiar first-person-shooter style. There are jump-scares aplenty as you navigate dark corridors in near darkness, with velociraptors appearing, almost literally, out of nowhere.

Kid Dracula - GB 1993

Yet another game who's price on the secondhand market has ensured I've only ever experienced it via more dubious methods, this spin-off/pastiche of the Castlevania series is in the mould of The Evil Dead 2; being both a remake and a sequel to the Famicom original.
The scaled down platforming works brilliantly on the Game Boy's small screen, with the cute and characterful art in particular feeling completely at home here. 'Metroidvania' elements may be absent, but there are between-level upgrades that bring more interest to proceedings.
It's a short game, which makes the high price tag even harder to swallow, but if you can cope with not understanding Japanese, copies from that territory come with a slightly more palette-able price tag.

Leather Goddesses of Phobos - DOS 1986

The sequel may have actual graphics and a name that is the stuff of legend (Leather Goddesses of Phobos 2: Gas Pump Girls Meet the Pulsating Inconvenience from Planet X!) but the second installment's sub-Leisuresuit Larry humour and terrible writing make it a pale shadow of the original - a properly old-school text adventure.
Leather Goddesses of Phobos has a style that is just irreverent enough for it to get away with a multitude of genre tropes and it's so genuinely funny that any missteps could be easily forgotten - if there were any (Spoiler: there aren't).
I grew up playing text adventures so I hope it's no small recommendation when I say this is among the very best of them.

Mortal Kombat II
While it's the original that is writ largest across my memory, it's this first sequel that is clearly the best game in the original, classic franchise. With enough improvements over the first game to make it worthwhile, and far fewer mistakes than MK3, Mortal Kombat II set the stall for the direction the series continues in to this day by bringing a healthy dose of silliness to the otherwise gruesome developments.

Nemesis the Warlock

When I played this on my brother's Commodore 128 way back in the day I had no idea that it was derived from a 2000 A.D. comic, I think I actually loaded up the disc thinking it might be related to the Konami shooter.
Despite it's obvious simplicity as a single screen platformer, I've never forgotten the simple joy of defeating enemies and using their corpses as a stairway to the exit - a stroke of genius game design that I don't think I've ever seen repeated.

Olly and Lissa 2: Halloween

I mean, it has 'Hallowe'en' right there in the title, how was I going to resist?
The Olly and Lissa trilogy is a set of exploration and puzzle solving games released  between '86 and '89 on Spectrum, Amstrad, and C64.
This is really a recommendation for all of them, as each has strengths and weaknesses. I think the graphic style of the original is more unique than the that of the sequels, and the third game is obviously the biggest, but the flick-screen format was looking a bit old-hat on the eve of the nineties.Olli & Lissa II is, then, would be the sweet spot of the series were it not for the small issue of Olli & Lissa themselves not actually appearing outside of the intro and the game-over screen.
If you can put that small annoyance aside though, the new character, a friendly witch, brings a new dimension to the collect-em-up format by being able to fly around the level on her broom.

Parasite Eve II

Despite all 3 entries in the Parasite Eve trilogy being classified as 'action role playing' games, they each have idiosyncrasies that differentiate them.
Between the two games that qualify as retro (by my definition) I was a much bigger fan of the survival horror leanings of the sequel than I was the heavy RPG style of combat in the original. I actually think the 'hot-swapping' action of the 'The 3rd Birthday' is best of all, but that is both an irrelevant and a very unpopular opinion.
Parasite Eve II is a beautiful looking game, and the Resident Evil style action is a big improvement, but the real highlight of the game for me is the boss battles - hideous, room-filling, creatures that it will take all your, and your avatars, abilities to overcome.

Quake II - N64

Why Quake II? And why the N64 version with it's tiny grainy multiplayer screens and shonky control system? Because it's the only retro 'Quake' game I've played, okay?
I tried and failed to convince myself that Quazatron, the ZX Spectrum's brilliant isometric version of Paradroid fit the hallowe'en brief more than this already loose connection... but it wasn't to be.
Play Quazatron on the Spectrum, don't play Quake II on the N64, move on.

Resident Evil - PS/Saturn 1996

No prizes for guessing which series was going to be representing 'R' here, but how to choose which instalment?
Resident Evil 2 is probably a better all around game than the original, but this is a list for the Halloween season - and Spencer Mansion is quite simply one of the best haunted house environments ever to appear in a video game.
It's a rare event in any medium when the flaws (or perceived flaws) of a piece manage to enhance it, but that is very much the case with the original Resident Evil. Take the voice acting, subject of a million memes, there's no way anyone could claim it had genuine quality. Yet, better acting may have telegraphed plot points that otherwise remain obscured by the stilted delivery.
And then there’s the 'tank controls', whether the vagaries of movement and inconsistent aiming exist by accident or design may never be known, but either way, they add huge amounts of tension to encounters where swift action is required.
There can be no doubt that the first Resident Evil, no matter the quality or otherwise of later franchise entries, remains an ingeniously designed adventure that has permanently and single handedly reignited a stagnant genre. 

Sweet Home

Brought to attention in the west by the success of Resident Evil, this NES outing from 1986 received a fan translation from its original Japanese to English almost 20 years after the original release.
It's influence on Capcom's first trip to Raccoon City is apparent from the very start, but this is a fascinating and genuinely scary game in its own right.
Played from a top down perspective, the gameplay involves, as you might expect, solving puzzles and occasionally battling evil entities. The backtracking and item management are familiar too, but a key difference is that in Sweet Home you control a group of five, and should any character die they remain so until the end and effect the outcome of the finale.

Todd's Adventures in Slime World - Lynx 1990

The Atari Lynx is one of my favourite game systems of all time. Although it lacked a big name franchise like Sonic or Mario to draw players in, it instead focused on brilliantly bringing hits from the arcade to it's tiny inch screen. Thanks to this, despite a pretty small library, it has one of the best quality-to-quantity ratios in the whole medium,
Todd's Adventure in Slime World was later ported to both the Mega Drive and the PC Engine Super CD, but it remains a Lynx game in my mind. As the titular adventurer you explore the vast slimy planet and collect gems. It's simplistic stuff, but fun presentation and a few neat ideas (having to wash off slime in water pools, for example) keep the game interesting - especially with those with the compulsion to see every part of the planet.

UFO: Enemy Unknown

The genesis of X-Com franchise can be traced all the way to 1984 when Rebelstar Raiders (a game written entirely in BASIC) was released for the ZX Spectrum, but in some ways the influences can be traced back further still, as it's another game that takes clear inspiration from the sci-fi horror movies of the fifties and sixties.
It's interesting that despite being the defacto series moniker today, it was only afte this game was rebranded for the American market as X-Com: UFO Defense that the series’ first bore the 'X-com' name.
Whether you call it, X-Com or UFO, the game features a near perfect combination of management sim and turn based combat elements that ensure you’ll be hooked from the very beginning and despite the dozens of sequels, spiritual successors, and remakes it has, to my mind at least, never been bettered in the genre. 

Vampire: Darkstalkers Collection

I could have just selected Vampire Savior, the original name for Darkstalkers 3, but this Japan-only release collected five different entries in the ghoulish fighting game series and so offers some real bang for your Yen
These 2D fighters featuring a deliciously twisted cast of monsters, villains, succubae, and various other freaks and ghouls may look a little simplistic when compared to games released since, but there's real class in the character designs and the fight engine.
Darkstalkers 3 is probably the best of the bunch, the Dark Force System it introduced was the major change from earlier instalments - a 'super meter' in all but name it brought the game in line with other 2D fighters of the era so if you can't get this collection , that's the one to play

War of the Worlds - PS 1998

Did you know that at least one 'Where in the [X] is Carmen Sandiago' game was released every year from 1985 to 1993? I discovered this snippet of trivia as I trawled through twenty-odd wikipedia pages desperately searching for an even mildly horror-themed game starting with 'W'.
It was all worthwhile in the end however, as I was actually quite pleased to be reminded of this game. I've been meaning to play it for some time and despite having to do so via emulator (I wasn't willing to blind-buy for £40+) I'm really glad I did.
This EU only release is, a little bizarrely, a vehicular combat game - but it is rhankfully a pretty good one. Each mission takes place in a different real world location taken from H.G. Wells' classic novel and sees you take control of a decent variety of era-accurate vehicles in battles against the alien menace. There's some light strategy too, and, played along to remixes from the famous Wayne album, it all makes for a pretty enjoyable blast. 

Xenophobe - Various 1987

A multiplayer shooter a good few years ahead of it's time, Xenophobe allowed three players to cooperatively battle a variety of levels by giving each a section of the screen to themselves. Split horizontally, the view of the game would be pretty iconic, were it not, to this day, something of an underappreciated effort.
The Atari Lynx version had the potential to be a definitive port, with the link cable allowing 3 consoles to have a full screen each. But unfortunately the commercial failure o the machine meant that Xenophobe didn't find much of an audience, so trying to find two other people with both the same hardware and software was an even harder task than completing this side-on, screen flipping, shooter.

Yokai Dochuki - Arcade/PC Engine/NES

As a new owner of a PC Engine, it's nice to be able to exploit the amount of time I've spent recently researching it's library to the benefit of more than my game library.
Much like the aforementioned Fear Effect, Yokai Dochuki is notable for it depiction of an eastern hell - in this case 'Jigoku', the Japanese variant.
The game has you play as a small boy who journeys through five stages of hell to determine his final fate - one of five endings available in the game.
It's an interesting game more than a brilliant one, with the NES version being particularly simplistic, but it's definitely worth checking out if you have the facility.

Zombies Ate My Neighbors - SNES/Mega Drive - 1993

It always boggles my mind that the (admittedly brilliant) title of this quasi-isometric run-and-gunner from lucasarts limits the antagonists to zombies.
During the corse of the game you will come across (forgive me a copy/paste from wikipedia) vampires, werewolves, huge demonic babies, spiders, squidmen, evil dolls, aliens, UFOs, giant ants, blobs, giant worms, mummies, chainsaw-wielding maniacs, "pod people" and, obviously, zombies.
Exploring the levels and saving your neighbours is made an extra joy through the game being very funny, and the accompanying music is worth a mention too - expertly capturing the monster-movie tone throughout.

Playing 'Surf Champ' - "The game that teaches you to surf..."

Back in May 2020 an article appeared, somewhat bizarrely, on the BBC Sport website about a 1985 videogame designed to teach people how to surf.

It was a fascinating piece that I'll link at the bottom, but what caught my imagination most of all was the bespoke controller; a plastic surfboard shrunk down to a size a little smaller than the original model of ZX Spectrum. This device was designed to sit on top of the rubber keys and claimed to offer the player scientifically developed 'realistic' movement.

It's a brilliantly bonkers concept, but how does it work? And is the game any good?

Well, perhaps unsurprisingly (especially if you've read the aforementioned article) the game has the air of being put together by someone who's never made entertainment software before. It's worrying enough when the loading splash screen looks to be comprised of the in game graphics which were, it should be said, very simple even by 1985 standards. But furthermore, once loaded, you're immediately presented with the questions "Choose your board 1-5?" and "Gear Selection 1..5", the latter of which inexplicably requires you to enter more than one number and then, for some reason, enter an "X" to move to the next screen.

This is a menu system that is entirely impossible to navigate without constant reference to the game manual, and in-game things only slightly improve. These developers have slavishly attempted to recreate every part of the surfing experience in 48k of ram and 8x8 sprites. 

First up, you have to plod up and down the beach as you choose the best time and place to paddle out... or risk being washed back the way you came. How far you paddle is a variable, as is when to mount, how to turn, how to re-mount... and all this is must be achieved while watching an energy bar that constantly depletes, and is impossible to refill.

On the underside of the game's 19cm surfboard controller are little nubs around the edge that press down onto certain keys, and a central pivot. Placing a hand on the board, you press in the various areas, relative to where you would press with your feet when real-world surfing to perform turns, dip the nose over waves, and other surfing moves that I have little knowledge of... I think you can even hang ten. 

Or so the manual says.

Everything about Surf Champ is compulsively dedicated to 'real' surfing accuracy which makes it, as a game as we know it, arcane in the extreme. Such is the extent of its complexity and nuance that simply getting up on the board and floating straight back to the beach feels like a genuine achievement. But, as frustrating as this can be, it also brings a compulsion to try again, to be better, to learn.

And isn't that how it should be?

Gaming today gives us on-the-fly tutorial modes, hand holding, and context sensitive buttons that have us parkouring across the worlds rooftops with little more effort than is required to change the TV channel. It shouldn't be a surprise that playing Surf Champ in direct juxtaposition to this feels initially tortuous. 

The box proudly states that this is 'The first REAL computer sport' and that it is 'The game that teaches you to surf' and while these claims may be a little fanciful, it's a game that certainly puts failure and success entirely in the hands of the player, or, perhaps more accurately, the student.

This is a 'learn to surf' simulator and, as a beginner, on a real wave, getting up on the board and floating straight back to the beach would be an achievement too, wouldn't it?

And if you failed you'd get up and try again, right? And you'd get frustrated about how hard it was and want to smash your surfboard and through the pieces across the room beach. Wouldn't you?

There are accounts, in the BBC Sport article, of actual surfers at the time sitting in front of Surf Champ and picking it up instantly. The endorsements were resounding and efforts made to recreate the experience had apparently paid off. So Surf Champ must be a good game, right?

Ultimately, no. But it is a very interesting failure. And often, in a world of endless cookie-cutter games played by millions of people at the same time, that's better than 'good'.

Agents of Mayhem - Misunderstood gem or forgettable farce?

Agents of Mayhem is a game from Volition that has a purple-leaning palette with a prevalent Fleur de Lis motif - but it is not, in any meaningful way, related to the Saints Row series.

It's third person, with a large cast of heroes available, all with distinct personalities and attributes. But it isn't a Battle Royale or other game of that broad type - it doesn't even have online multiplayer.

And then, perhaps most confusing of all, Agents of Mayhem is a game where you always take a squad of three into battle, but it offers no co-op. 

All these contradictions appear to have not only left consumers too confused to purchase the game, but it seems to have often left a large number of those few that did buy it disappointed. Six months after release, the game had sold just 300000 copies and was cited as the reason for layoffs by the developer. 

It isn't really fair, however, to blame Agents of Mayhem's failures on Wii-U style consumer confusion and disappointment with all the things it isn't. There are also fundamental issues with what it is, that, for a full price game in a crowded market, doubtless contributed to it's fate.

Case in point: As a big fan of the studio's other work, I was an early adopter of the game. However, I was unable to play it until fairly recently, when I upgraded my graphics card. AoM isn't a resource heavy game, but my previous combination of i5 cpu and R9 280x gpu caused a bug that crashed everything to desktop as soon as any button on a controller was pressed. Not ideal. In researching solutions it transpired that, following the game's commercial failure, it was all but abandoned by the developer with several game breaking bugs left unaddressed.

Looking at the above, it's easy to wonder why I bothered with the game at all, but, having clicked the 'Play' button through mere curiosity a week or so ago, I've just now found myself watching the credits roll with 39 hours of playing time under my belt. 

It turns out, despite several meaty caveats, Agents of Mayhem is actually pretty damn good fun.

Set in a futuristic rendition of South Korean capital city; Seoul, you take control of a trio of the titular team in a battle against Dr Babylon and his subordinates in the antagonist group 'Legion'.

This is all presented in a very 'Saturday Morning Cartoon' style, which makes the decision to make a number of the characters hard drinking, chain smoking, and sweary a little bit bizarre, but, other than this, the presentation is exceptional. Future-Seoul is a fairly small open-world map by modern standards, but it's packed with detail and nuance that belies the scale. There's also fantastic design consistency and an incredible sense of verticality.

You select your team of three from a larger pool of twelve (three more available as DLC) who are impressively diverse of gender, race, nationality, and sexuality - but who conversely fall into traditional genre convention and classes in gameplay, albeit with unique idiosyncrasies of style. Daisy is a fairly standard heavy gunner, for example, but takes to the streets on roller blades. Joule is an engineer, deploying turrets as per the standard, but is a full-on fashionista when not battling Legion. The variety of playstyles catered for is impressive, and encompasses everything from melee combattants to snipers - and most iterations in between.

These details are not limited to visual details. Each character is voiced impressively, with many introduced into the game via a 'special episode' mission that delves into their backstory and is then often referenced in communication chatter later in the game.

With all this excellent groundwork in place, it's a real shame that as soon as the game starts, most campaign missions quickly move you away from the open world map and instead take place in an endless procession of near-identical, almost featureless, grey, underground bunkers. Objectives within also lack variety, offering the scant choice of killing all enemies, destroying some doo-dads, or freeing some captives.

On the plus side, combat is a lot of fun, and the dungeons, though visually uninspiring, do offer an unobstructive battle ground. Finding a triumvirate of agents to suit your own proclivities is all part of the entertainment, and the instant tag-team nature allows for some pretty effective combinations - particularly when unleashing an agents special ability after building up their 'Mayhem Meter'. 

Outside of the main missions, there are actually plenty of distractions scattered around the map. This allows the player to bring some variety to the game by taking on races, destroying weapons caches, saving hostages, and attacking boss-sized enemies at their own convenience. Don't get me wrong, this isn't an excuse for the unimaginative, and repetitive campaign missions, but, personally, I wanted to explore Seoul, and having characters that can triple jump and air-dash as standard makes doing so a joy, and stumbling across activities that do actually take place in the over-world really brings the game to life.

I was often put in mind of Xbox 360 classic 'Crackdown' when bounding across rooftops in search of crystal shards and item crates, or calling my agency vehicle to blast from one side of the map to the other. I think this is a far more accurate, and positive, association than any of the other games or genres that AoM gets mistakenly compared to. Crackdown wasn't universally loved, and Agents of Mayhem certainly can't claim to be either, but I'd encourage any fan of Realtime Worlds’ 2007 outing to give this game a look-in, I think you'll feel quite at home.

But I guess there is an underlying negative in that comparison. Crackdown is over a decade old; it came about at a time when open worlds of this kind were still fairly big news. That Agents of Mayhem can only offer fun on this simplistic level then, even at its best, is it worth playing?

An old boss of mine used to enjoy delivering a little nugget of people management that went something like: "We have to change the 'No, because...' into a 'Yes, if...'.

And as there are dozens of reviews in the world that will tell you to avoid Agents of Mayhem because... well... I've mentioned a lot of the problems above, I'm going to instead focus on the reasons why you should give this game a shot, with a ton of caveats to manage your expectations.

As I already said, if you enjoyed Crackdown back in '07 and want to enjoy that superhero style traversal of an open world, give AoM a chance.

If you miss single player games with multiple characters to choose from, that's another thing that AoM does very well. There are 15 in total (including DLC) and although there are 'pre-defined' teams of three, you can mix them up in whatever way you see fit - this makes for more than 450 potential combinations. Each character is palpably different from the others, too, and there’s some RPG-lite levelling if you like that kind of thing.

If you don't mind creating your own game structure, AoM is massively improved by not letting the game lead you. Spend twenty minutes tooling around Seoul before you start a mission, change your squad up every time you set out, and make use of the 'Contracts' (basically sub-achievements) to drive your activity. It won’t take away the uninspired parts, but it will make them less of a wall to your enjoyment.

If the idea of teaming a sword wielding ninja, a minigun-toting pin-up girl, and an ice giant appeals to you, AoM has your back.

If you ever thought the GI Joe cartoon needed more swearing - yeah, this is definitely the game for you.

Agents of Mayhem is like looking at a pile of individual puzzle pieces that all have interesting little pictures on - but when it's put together the complete image is somehow much less compelling. 

But, by overlooking some pieces and rearranging others, there's something worth persisting with here. 

I totally get that a lot of people won't want to bother, but for those that do I think they'll be pleasantly surprised.

I recreated most of my console collection, to scale(ish), using only the power of Google Sheets.

I've always enjoyed creating things within certain constraints.

In this case I decided to try and create an image of most of games machines using only the very limited scope of a spreadsheet.






I gave myself 2 rules for the project:


No using the 'drawing', tools.


No using words, including wingdings; only fills, borders, punctuation, and alt-code shapes were allowed.

I set the page up with a 1cm grid and went with a 2:1 sacle, so each square represents about 2cm square.

I figured this would force creativity without being impossible when I got down to the likes of the Game Boy Micro.

I'm really pleased with most of these. I think the Lynx or Spectrum +2 are my favourite, but I'm disappointed with the Jaguar and the Dreamcast.